Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah preserve him and benefit us by him).
My lower self has caused me endless problems and prevented me from drawing close to Allāh. Whenever I take one step forward, I take several steps backward. How can I purify myself and my heart?
Continue to attend gatherings of goodness, continue to remember Allah, and continue to follow on-line lessons. Through these things you ready yourself to receive the mercy and generosity of your Lord, who will then change your state for the better. As long as Allah Most High sees that you are sincerely turning to Him, then nothing will prevent Allah from bestowing His forgiveness upon you, enveloping you in His generosity, purifying you and raising you. The believer must be truthful and remain firm. Regardless of the number of times he lapses or slips into heedlessness, he must always repent and continue to seek Allah.