Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)
We always hear about children showing righteousness to their parents. Is there a righteousness that can be shown by parents to children? Do you have advice for parents in their dealings with their children to stop them from disobeying them?
There is both righteousness shown from parents to children, and from children to parents. Someone who is righteous will be good to their father, mother, children, grandparents, brothers, sisters, spouse, sons and daughters, and all their relatives. The extent of the goodness will be according to a person’s truthfulness, aspiration and striving to worship Allah.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “May Allah have mercy on a father who helps his child to be good to him.” Parents should be gentle in their dealings with their children. They should use various means to convince their children to respect them and make it easy for them to do so.
They will thus prevent their children from falling into the calamity of disobeying them. They must be avid for their sons and daughters to be upright and must not be harsh in seeking their rights from them which may in turn cause them to disobey them and we seek refuge in Allah from that.