Etiquettes in the Bedroom

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

What are the etiquettes of a husband and wife in the bedroom?

The Prophet ﷺ taught us the correct etiquette for every situation and believers strive to abide by these etiquettes.

Before intercourse they should both recite the Prophetic dua:

بِاسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبْ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

Bismillah. Allahumma jannibna’shaytan wa jannib ashaytan ma razaqtana

“In the name of Allah. O Allah, distance us from Satan and distance Satan from what You grant us”

Although the Shariah tells us that between husband and wife there is no part of the body which the other party is forbidden from seeing, they should avoid looking at the other’s private parts. Sayyidah Aishah said: “I never saw the Prophet’s private parts and he did not see mine”. They should both be covered by a sheet. They should speak pleasantly to each other. When the man feels that he is reaching climax he should recite in his heart and not with his tongue:

وَهُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ مِنَ الْمَاءِ بَشَرًا فَجَعَلَهُ نَسَبًا وَصِهْرًا ۗ وَكَانَ رَبُّكَ قَدِيرًا

It is He who creates human beings from fluid, then makes them kin by blood and marriage: your Lord is all powerful! (al-Furqan, 25:54)

One partner must never disclose any secrets about the other (especially with regard to the bedroom) to anyone. The Prophet ﷺ described this as a form of betrayal or disloyalty.

One of the most important inner etiquettes is that they both have in their hearts and minds only that which is pure and lawful. They should also have good intentions and be in a state of tranquillity and remembrance of Allah with their hearts. Imam al-Sha’rani: “My spiritual state when I am with my wife is the same as the state in which I enter the prayer”. This is the state of someone who has absolute presence with Allah. If that is the state of the Siddiqun (the people of absolute truthfulness) what does that tell us about the state of the Prophets and what does that tell us about the state of the Master of the Prophets ﷺ , the one who had the greatest knowledge of Allah and the most awareness and reverential fear of Him?

Raising Children Leaves No Time for Seeking Knowledge

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

All my time is spent raising my children and I feel I am missing out on worship and seeking knowledge. What advice can you give me?

For you to raise your children in the best way is an act of worship and is part of acting according to your knowledge. Try to follow a class when you have a bit of spare time. A pious woman from the Amudi tribe (in Hadramawt) wrote out the whole of Imam al-Subki’s three volume fatwa collection. At the end she wrote: ‘Please excuse any mistakes I may have made because I wrote this while I was breastfeeding’. The truthful person continues doing good works however small regardless of the situation.

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Advice on Electronic Currencies

Hb Umar hawsh

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)


  • What do you say about investing in electronic currencies?

These are one of the tricks and ploys that have been used to delude people who are hoping to make some money. They have no basis in the Sacred Law and the end result in investing in these currencies will not be good.


  • I have already invested in these currencies. What should I do?

You should stop investing in them and you should give the money you have made to Muslims in need. If you have relatives who are in dire need then give it to them and if not send it to Muslims who are suffering from catastrophes across the world. Alternatively, you can donate it to a project which is of general benefit to society.

On Muslims Living in Non Muslim Lands



Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

Is it permissible for Muslims to remain in non-Muslim lands? Do you advise Muslims living in non-Muslim lands to emigrate to Muslim lands?

It is permissible for them to remain on two conditions:

  1. That they are able to openly establish the main rituals of Islam, such as the prayer, including the Eid prayer and the Friday prayer, zakat and fasting.
  2. That their religion is not under threat, meaning that they are not forced to do something which is forbidden or prevented from doing fulfilling any of their religious obligations and they do not fear that their children’s faith will be corrupted or lost.

It is better for them to remain in non-Muslim lands on three conditions:

  1. That they are able to openly practise their religion
  2. That their religion is not under threat
  3. That they are able to show people around them the true teachings of Islam and be of benefit to others.

If these three conditions are not fulfilled they should move to Muslim lands.

Protection from Acid Attacks

Hb Umar house

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

There has been a spate of acid attacks recently. What can we recite to protect ourselves from these kind of attacks?

Recite 450 times:

حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيل

Hasbunallahu wa ni`ama’l-wakil

“Allah is sufficient for us and He is the best protector.” (3:173)

Recite 100 times:

وَأُفَوِّضُ أَمْرِي إِلَى اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَصِيرٌ بِالْعِبَادِ

Wa ufawwidu amri ila-Allah, inna-Allaha basirun bil-‘ibaad

“I surrender my affair to Allah: Allah is well aware of His servants.” (40:44)

Adhkar for Someone Preparing to Get Married

Hb Umar Tarim

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

I am preparing to get married. Is there something I should recite at this time?

Recite the following in abundance:

مَا شَاءَ اللهُ لا حَوْلَ ولا قوَّةَ إلَّا باللهِ

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلى سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وآلِ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وبارِكْ وسَلِّمْ

Ma sha Allah la hawl wa la quwata illa billah

Allahumma salli ala sayyidina Muhammad wa ali sayyidina Muhammad wa barik wa sallim

This is what Allah willed; there is no strength or power save by Allah.

O Allah, bestow prayers, peace and blessings upon our Master Muhammad and his Family


Also repeat the last two verses of Surat al-Tawbah. This has the effect of bringing harmony between people.

لَقَدْ جَاءكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُم بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَؤُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ فَإِن تَوَلَّوْاْ فَقُلْ حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لا إِلَـهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ

Laqad ja’akum rasulumin anfusikum `azizun `alayhi ma `anittum harisun `alaykum bi’lmu’minin ra’ufurrahim. Fa in tawallaw faqul hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa Hu `alayhi tawakkaltu wa huwa rabbu’l-`arshi’-l-`azim.

There has come to you a Messenger from among yourselves, grievous to whom is your burden, concerned (is he) for you; for the believers (he is) full of compassion, merciful. If they turn away say: ‘Allah is sufficient for me; there is no deity save He. On Him do I rely; He is the Lord of the Awesome Throne.’ (Al-Tawbah, 9:128-9)

On Moving into a New House

 Hb Umar Tarim

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

What should we do upon moving into a new house for blessings?

You should intend what the pious intended when they moved into a new house. Part of that is to intend that your house be a place of mercy, knowledge, remembrance of Allah and a place in which guests are received and honoured.

It should be a place in which the images of the pious are seen and their voices are heard and not a place where the images of the corrupt are seen and their voices are heard.

You should invite the pious, your relatives and those that you love for Allah’s sake and recite the mawlid along with Surah Ya Sin as a housewarming celebration.

You should recite the Qur’an and the adhkar in the house in abundance.  Surat al-Baqarah specifically should be recited , ideally every three days but if that is not possible then at least once.

Whenever any family member enters they should mention Allah’s name and recite Ayat al-Kursi once and Surat al-Ikhlas three times.


Advice on Homeschooling


Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him

We are homeschooling our children. What should we focus on teaching them?

You should focus on teaching them their tenets of faith, the rulings of Islam and general etiquettes. You should teach them a lot about the Sirah and life of the Companions. You should clarify to them how to live and interact in society.

Fathers who are often busy with work should fix a time which they spend with their children.

On Christmas Greetings


Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

What is the ruling on greeting Christians at Christmas?

As Muslims, we honour Sayyiduna Isa (peace be upon him) and his birth and the Prophet himself prayed in the place in which he was born on the night of the Isra and Mi`raj. There is no harm in greeting Christians as long as the greeting does not imply an affirmation of their belief in the Trinity. It is also impermissible to take part in any ceremony in which there is an affirmation of their belief in the Trinity or in which there is a contravention of the Sacred Law.

On Fear of Wearing Hijab in Public




Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

Some sisters fear being harassed if they wear the hijab in public in the current climate. What should they do?

They should recite the following whenever they leave the house:

  1. The Prophetic prayer:

بِاسمِ اللهِ آمَنْتُ بِاللهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللهِ ولا حَوْلَ ولا قُوَّةَ إِلا بِاللهِ العَلِيِّ العَظِيم

Bismillah, amantu billah, tawakkaltu al’Allah, wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahi’l-`aliyyi’l-`azim

In the name of Allah, I place my trust and reliance in Allah. There is no strength or power save by Allah

  1. Ayat al-Kursi
  1. Wird al-Sakran (if they know it) [1]

They must strive to show good character, be dignified and set the best example to those around them. They should not be affected by those who say unpleasant things to them and they should show kindness to those who mistreat them. This is a trial and its evil will soon pass.




[1] Wird al-Sakran can be found in al-Khulasah, after Surah Ya Sin. It is a short and powerful wird read for protection from all types of evil. It was composed by Shaykh Abu Bakr al-Sakran the son of Shaykh Abd al-Rahman al-Saqqaf.