Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)
How can we rid ourselves of harshness and arrogance?
The sicknesses of the heart must be treated with a combination of knowledge and action. We thus treat harshness by continuously reading what has been narrated in the Qur’an and the Sunnah about the blameworthiness of harshness and what has been narrated about the praiseworthiness of being gentle and merciful. We must then strive to be gentle and merciful.
We treat arrogance by reminding ourselves that someone who shows arrogance is liable to be rejected and abased by Allah. Rationally it is not befitting for a person to be arrogant and the Sacred Law does not permit anyone to be arrogant. We must study what has been narrated about the blameworthiness of arrogance and reflect upon the statement of the Prophet ﷺ: “Whoever who has an atom’s weight of arrogance in their heart will not enter Paradise.” We should also read about the virtue of humility, the lives of the people of humility, love them for the sake of Allah and strive to emulate them. We must continue to force ourselves to do that until the light of humility becomes firmly established in our hearts.