Category: Family & Marriage

On Obedience to Parents

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

My parents have ordered me to cut ties with one of my relatives and prohibit me from practising certain elements of my religion. What should I do?

Cutting the ties of kinship is an act of disobedience and there can be no obedience to the creation if it constitutes disobedience to the Creator. Thus you cannot obey them in this or in anything which contravenes the Sacred Law. However, you can show wisdom in not openly displaying that you are going against their will and you must not be rude or aggressive towards them.

 

On Balancing Awrad and Household Duties

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

A lot of my time is spent raising my children and doing the housework. How can I be consistent in reading my awrad?

Try to read the awrad while doing the housework. Perhaps the children will then memorise these awrad. A young child memorised Surah Ya Sin before knowing how to read and write just by hearing his mother reciting it while cleaning the house every day.

On Moonsightings and Avoiding Conflict

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

Regarding the entrance of Ramadan and the day of Eid, if my family does not follow the moon sighting, should I follow the moon sighting or do what my family is doing to avoid conflict?

You must submit to the correct opinion according to the Sacred Law without disrespecting your family and without argumentation or animosity. If they celebrate Eid on a different day then express your joy and give them your good wishes even though you yourself are not celebrating it on that day.

On Dealing with Objections to Tasawwuf

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him).

My husband does not agree with the way of tasawwuf and does not like my attachment to this way. What can I do?

You need to deal with him according to the principles of tasawwuf: being patient, treating him well and not arguing with him. If you do this he will be completely immersed in tasawwuf. Treat him well and treat him gently and ask Allah in abundance to expands his heart.[1] All that the people of tasawwuf need to do in every situation is to deal with people according to the principles of tasawwuf. The realities of tasawwuf are, however, hard to attain and its stations are lofty and we ask for a great portion of it.

 

[1] Meaning he becomes convinced of the correctness of the way of tasawwuf

Adhkar to Increase Harmony between Family Members and between Husband and Wife

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him).

What can be recited to increase harmony between family members and between husband and wife?

If possible, every family member should recite Ayat al-Kursi once and Surat al-Ikhlas three times every time they enter the house. This increases love between family members. Continue reading Adhkar to Increase Harmony between Family Members and between Husband and Wife

On Parents Showing Righteousness to Children

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

We always hear about children showing righteousness to their parents. Is there a righteousness that can be shown by parents to children? Do you have advice for parents in their dealings with their children to stop them from disobeying them? Continue reading On Parents Showing Righteousness to Children