Category: Raising Children

How Do We Understand the Suffering of Children?

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

There are many wisdoms in this. One of the greatest of these is that it makes us conscious of Allah’s grace: had He wished, He could have made the same thing happen to us when we were children. It also allows us to come to know the greatness of Allah’s lordship in that He does whatever He wishes with His creation. We also need to realise that beyond this there are elements of divine mercy which our intellects cannot comprehend and we must recognise that we only partially perceive what is taking place in existence. They also make us realise that this world is a place of calamities so we become more detached from it and prepare for the everlasting abode of the next life.

 

Raising Children Leaves No Time for Seeking Knowledge

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

All my time is spent raising my children and I feel I am missing out on worship and seeking knowledge. What advice can you give me?

For you to raise your children in the best way is an act of worship and is part of acting according to your knowledge. Try to follow a class when you have a bit of spare time. A pious woman from the Amudi tribe (in Hadramawt) wrote out the whole of Imam al-Subki’s three volume fatwa collection. At the end she wrote: ‘Please excuse any mistakes I may have made because I wrote this while I was breastfeeding’. The truthful person continues doing good works however small regardless of the situation.

Photo credit: mahabbah.foundation

Advice on Homeschooling

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him

We are homeschooling our children. What should we focus on teaching them?

You should focus on teaching them their tenets of faith, the rulings of Islam and general etiquettes. You should teach them a lot about the Sirah and life of the Companions. You should clarify to them how to live and interact in society.

Fathers who are often busy with work should fix a time which they spend with their children.

Long Days and Children Fasting

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

The days are very long in some places making fasting very difficult for children close to the age of puberty. What should they do?

They should not be burdened with more than they can bear. They should be encouraged to fast half the day or most of the day. Although their fast will not be legally valid, they will become accustomed to fasting and their hearts will become attached to it so that when they are older it is easier for them.

 

How can we make our children love Ramadan?

We do this by mentioning the mercy, bounty and kindness that Allah shows in Ramadan.

 

The Prophetic Balance: Showing Compassion While Being Firm

Advice from Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

“We need the Prophetic balance. We need to show our children mercy, compassion and affection. Many people are deficient in this regard. At the same time, we need to be firm and follow our guide, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. No-one can be compared to him in the mercy and affection he showed to children generally and to al-Hasan and al-Husayn specifically. However, when al-Hasan began eating a date that had been given in zakat (and thus was unlawful for the members of the Prophet’s family to eat), the Prophet forcibly removed it from his mouth. He did not say: “He is only a young child and it is only one date”. He showed compassion while at the same time being firm.

 

Traditional Methods of Raising Children

These are some of the methods of raising children used by our pious predecessors of the Ba `Alawi way, compiled by the grandson of the late Habib Muhammad al-Haddar (may Allah have mercy on him and be well-pleased with him), Sayyid Muhammad Abdullah Muhammad al-Haddar, may Allah preserve and protect him:

  1. Breastfeeding mothers would repeatedly recite Ayat al-Kursi, Surat al-Falaq and Surat al-Nas over their babies.

Continue reading Traditional Methods of Raising Children

Playing with your Children

Advice from Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him).

Parents should supervise their children playing and play with them at times. One of the pious would always play with his children to make sure they were not affected by bad influences and to make sure they were learning as they played.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was often the ‘camel’ for Sayyiduna al-Hasan and Sayyiduna al-Husayn to ride upon.

Once Hasan and Husayn were wrestling with each other. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was watching and cheering on Hasan. Sayyidatuna Fatimah saw this and asked him why he was supporting Hasan and not Husayn.

He replied: “I am only supporting Hasan because Jibril is supporting Husayn.”

This is the care that Hasan and Husayn received. They were playing under the watchful eye of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and Sayyiduna Jibril.

On Maintaining Awrad After Giving Birth

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

After giving birth I have not been able to be consistent in my awrad and other acts of worship. What can I do to maintain my spiritual progress?

You should realise that raising your children is a type of worship so you should make a good intention in raising them and intend to follow the Prophet ﷺ in doing so.

You should take a moderate path – not neglecting the awrad completely and not trying to do too much. Rather you should do that which is easy for you to maintain. You will still be rewarded for that which you are unable to do.

On Teaching Our Children to Love the Prophet ﷺ

Answered by Sayyidi Habib Umar bin Hafiz (may Allah protect him and benefit us by him)

How do we teach our children to love the Prophet ﷺ?

We should teach them about his life and tell them stories about him. We should teach them about his greatness in Allah’s sight and teach them that he is the one who benefits Allah’s creation the most and that he is the greatest intercessor on the Day of Judgement. We must also teach them how to bestow prayers upon him.